Sunday, December 31, 2006
Interesting radio show segment
This segment on The Brian Lehrer show, which is on our local public radio station, discusses the changes the CCAA recently made to their adoption guidelines. It's very interesting. Click here to listen.
| posted by Shannon at 10:55 AM
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Thanks September DTC Cyber-Shower pal for December
We received the cutest ladybug backpack from our September 2006 DTC group cyber-shower pals this month. Thanks so much!!
| posted by Shannon at 10:46 AM
Thursday, December 21, 2006
December Secret Pal Gifts
Our picture frame ornament with Chloe's Christmas photo in it surrounded by our 2 angels, one for Chloe and one for Emma Claire. Our other photo frame is awaiting Emma Claire's photo.
Our December GWCA Secret Pal gifts.I opened up my GWCA secret pal gift this month to discover that my secret pal went all out this month. There were numerous little packages all neatly wrapped in the shipping box. It was so much fun to open each one. Chloe even received some gifts! It was such a nice holiday surprise. Thanks so much to my secret pal for the Ten Little Ladybugs book, the two ornament angels and the two picture frame ornaments. We also received the most precious ladybug bracelets for Chloe and Emma Claire, along with a Dora Loves Boots book, Dora hair brush and pony tail holders and a coloring book for Chloe. Also in the package were some ladybug chocolates.
Thanks so much to my great secret pal!
| posted by Shannon at 11:53 AM
Saturday, December 16, 2006
2 months since we were logged in
Two months since LID (and 22 more to go)!
| posted by Shannon at 6:36 AM
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Nice story in DMN
This is a story my mother sent me. It was published in the Dallas Morning News. I thought it was a great story.The Mathematics of Affection
In this case, the whole definitely is greater than the sum of the parts
By JEANNE MARIE LASKAS Special to The Washington Post
If my girls go to Chinese class, they get candy. Any kind. Free choice. We go to the candy store and pick.
Bribery is not a noble parenting tool, but I'm here to say it's efficient, convenient and practical. Any guilt I feel dissipates when we come out of class and they're singing those Chinese songs, drilling each other on the Mandarin words for moon, star and underpants. They love it. They forget how much they love it when it comes time to go again the following week. I remind them with the candy.Someday, they'll thank me. I'll be a hero. It'll be, "Thanks, Mom, for making us learn Chinese," when they're all grown up and taking treks back to the orphanages that once housed them; they'll be bearing gifts and appreciation and promises to build playground equipment. This is what I imagine. My girls giving back. We'll see.
For now, it's Skittles, Reese's Pieces, Kit Kats or possibly 3 Musketeers. We're in the car on the way to class, and they're trying to decide. We pass Sunshine Kids, the place where Anna, 7, went to preschool. "That was my first school!" she announces to her younger sister, Sasha. "That's where it all started!"
"You told me before," Sasha says.
"My teacher was Miss Donna," Anna says. "You never met her because you weren't born yet."
"I know," Sasha answers. "You tell me this every week."
She does. It's getting old. There is something about this "starting place" that seems to have Anna hooked. Today she goes further, naming every teacher she's ever had, and then every baby sitter she's ever had. Britney, Erin, Linda, Mrs. Linton, Miss Pato. Soon Anna has retrieved a pen and a notebook, and is doing the tally.
"So that means I had seven teachers," she says, "seven baby sitters and two moms." Two moms? Well, now wait a second. Where did that come from? And she's just dropping this so --casually? If she means what I think she mea! ns, this is big.
"Two moms?" I ask.
"You and the one whose belly I came out of," she says.
Well, glory be. It's finally registered. We've had so many frank discussions over so many years about what it means to be adopted, endless times I've tried to directly place this information into my kids' brains, and it has never, before now, seemed to have even made a dent.
I always expect big tears of awareness and deep talks about "real moms" vs. some other kinds of moms, and it never happens. Instead, whenever I broach the subject, my children appear flat-out bored with it. So I don't push.
That's a choice. Plenty of adoptive moms go about this differently. I know of one who has a little memorial to her kids' birth mothers in her home; every night they pray to her with thanks. There are kids' books and dolls and whole play sets you can buy to deal with the issue.
I never wanted to automatically assume it would be an issue for my girls. Instead, I go for the factual, simple declarative: This is how it is. Some kids are raised by their birth mothers, some by birth fathers, some by adoptive parents and so on. And my kids practically yawn at me. This is the first time either has brought it up on her own.
"So, do you girls remember your birth mothers?" I ask, gently prodding, knowing full well the actual answer to this. If the records are correct, neither would have spent more than about a day with the woman who gave birth to her.
Anna was found on the steps outside a hospital. Sasha was found in a cardboard box by a pharmacy. Do I demonize the women who left them? Enshrine them? Do I ever let my complicated relationship with the ghosts of these women be known to my children?
One of the greatest gifts you can give your kid, I think, is the gift of keeping your problems to yourself.
"I don't remember her," Anna says, "But I think she had long hair. Probably longer than Sasha's had."
"Mine had short hair," Sasha says, wisely surrendering.
"Do you think they were nice?" I ask.
"I think mine liked t! o sing," Anna says.
"Yeah, mine, too!" Sasha says.
"Well, I never got to meet them," I say. "But I met some of the women in the orphanages who took care of you, and they were all nice."
"Oh, that's right," Anna says, almost exasperated by the addition problem unfolding before her. "How many of them did I have?"
"I don't know," I tell her. "I mean, there were a lot of people there."
"I'm just gonna say six," she says, and then takes a moment to come up with her grand total. "Twenty-two. I've had 22 ladies watching over me. Wow."
"Wow," I say.
"That's a lot of love for one kid," she says, mimicking the way I talk to her about such things.
"Snickers," Sasha says, out of nowhere. "I forgot about Snickers bars. I think that's what I'm going to pick today for my candy."
Right. I forgot, too. Teachers, birth mothers, candy, all part of a well-balanced psyche.
| posted by Shannon at 12:38 PM
New Rules
Even though there has been some discussion for the past few days, I didn't believe anything until I got official word from our agency. Well, it's official. Beginning May 1, 2007, the CCAA will be changing the requuirements for adoptive parents. The new rules are:- Married applicants are preferred.
- Parents ages should be between 30~50.
- Good health. No history of depression or anxiety within the last two years.
- No criminal history.
- Body Mass Index (BMI) below 40.
- Income per family member must be $10,000.00 with a net worth of $80,000.00+.
- Must have at least a high school education.
- Less than 5 children under 18 living in the home.
These new rules should not affect us since our dossier was logged in on October 16, 2006, some 7 months prior to the new rules being enforced. As of this time, the CCAA has not sent the new regulations in writing to the agencies, which may account for different accounts of the new rules.
The CCAA also ended the rumors of a "speed up" in referrals. According to the CCAA, the wait to referral will not fall below the current 15-16 months wait time and may even increase. This means that we can expect our referral between January 2008 and October 2008.
| posted by Shannon at 12:12 PM
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Stockings Hung on the Chimney with Care
I hung 4 new stockings on our chimney this year, one for each member of our immediate family. Even though she is not here (and for that matter, probably not born yet), Emma Claire receieved a stocking because she is in our hearts and minds.
| posted by Shannon at 11:32 AM
Monday, December 04, 2006
In Translation
Referrals arrived for families logged in through September 8, 2005. Though the CCAA is not referring at the speed we would like, we still take comfort in the fact that we ARE making progress.Our agency informed us that our dossier is in translation. Once you submit your dossier to China, there are 3 steps to referral, just like the 3 trimesters of a pregnancy. The 1st stage is translation, where your dossier is translated from English to Mandarin. The 2nd phase is review, where your dossier is looked over to make sure you meet the criteria to adopt. And the 3rd phase is referral, where you are matched with a child.
| posted by Shannon at 1:37 PM
